Depressing!!!!!

Well I made it through another depressing Holiday Season. I know it should be a happy time and in some ways it is, but for me and I am sure, for many others, it really brings the depression to the forefront!!!!! Years ago when I was able to work, it was always hard to appreciate all the Busy Work we were forced to do, just to look like we were really working!!! Know what I mean??? Anyway that is exactly what I have done for the past 8 years, every waking moment of my pathetic life!!!!! When L. was with me, it was much easier, I had someone who seemed to care about ME and my quality of life. It is now obvious that was all a sham and trying to keep yourself busy all your waking hours is a full time job, no pun intended!!!!! It is really hard to fit in with anyone, you can't do anything, its all you can do just to take care of yourself. Unless I see my neighbors when I am outside, which is maybe 3 or 4 times a week, I don't talk to anyone and find it very hard to carry on a conversation with anyone due to the vocal cords getting NO Practice!!!!! Of course the emotions are always a problem too!!!!! I know that I have it much better than some and I do appreciate that, but when your down its really hard to see the good. I try, but it is really, really hard!!!!!

Grumpy

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